Thursday, March 13, 2008

Chef Fauxhawks and Two by Two

Now that the season is over, I'm transferring my Project Runway obsession to another Bravo show: Top Chef. So far my favorite character is Erik, the tall tattooed fellow who wants to use the 100K prize money to buy floral shirts and cook on the beach in Hawaii. Call me a cynic, but I think he's gonna need more than 100 grand for that. His cheese souffle fell flat before judges Padma, Tom, Rocco and Anthony Bourdain, but he gained respect when he admitted, "I made glorified nachos. I'm not proud of it."

Another (un)quotable line: Andrew in his extreme excitement over the posh Chicago digs-- "Yo. Casa, motherf%@#$s!!!" I wasn't sorry to see melancholy Nimma pack up her knives after she emphasized for the umpteenth time that she wasn't on the show to have fun and put herself to bed. I know it's not Project Runway, but she should have been auffed straightaway for that purple headband. And the trio of fauxhawks (Richard, Jennifer and [smaller, but there] Dale) should help end a haircut that went out with David Beckham. Plus, who dressed Padma in that unflattering olive green dress? If you can make a stunner like Padma look dumpy, no matter the camera angle, perhaps you're in the wrong career.

Here are my two sentences for Two by Two Thursday (two sentences read, two sentences written from the past week):

"It's only my sister, she thinks, but still, after all this time, after everything that's happened, she wants to inspire in Vanessa a certain surprised admiration. Still she wants her sister to think, 'The goat's looking rather well, isn't she?'" --from Michael Cunningham's The Hours.

"The inside of Brody's Bait 'n More smelled of earthworms, stale frying oil, and musty equipment. Nestled into the crook of the lake off the main highway, it served as a local fishing supply and watering hole--nicknamed Grody Brody's by spurned teenagers trying to score cheap cases of beer." -- from my novel in progress

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Blogger David Dust said...

Dearest Britta -

Erik scares me - he looks like Satan! Don't look him directly in the eye!!!!

Click here for DavidDust's Top Chef Chicago recap.


11:37 AM  
Blogger David Dust said...

By the way - I LOVED the comment you made on my blog re: Nimma's headband. PERFECTION.

11:38 AM  
Blogger Searcher Amy said...

Erik is scary, Nimma was whiny, and Mark looks a bit like Marty Feldman ("Walk this way.")I kept waiting for him to talk about Abbie -- you know, Abbie Normal?
It looks like Andrew, Dale and Richard are all sniffing around each other for alpha male position. Can't wait to see who pees on whom.

9:30 PM  
Blogger Britta Coleman said...

Thanks, David. Excellent recap, by the way. I read parts out loud to my husband while he (irony, irony) cooked dinner!

Is it odd that I don't find Erik satan scary? Compared to the others, he seemed down to earth. I'll have to watch MartyMark to catch the Feldman resemblance.

I thought Andrew tried pretty hard to mark his territory (I'll make my OWN mayonnaise!) but rolled over to Richard's fauxhawk dominance.

3:41 AM  
Blogger Kern said...

An excerpt from my latest pirate novel: "His soul was rank with meanness, poisoned by Satan himself. He cursed and hurled insults with a lustiness unsurpassed in cruelty, even by standards of men of the sea."

~Christopher Farley

Top Chef - Not sure who I like yet, but I think the lesbians will be fun, and I am glad Nimma is gone. She needs to go to happy school for a semester.

4:28 AM  
Blogger Travis Erwin said...

Grody Brody's sounds Like a place I'd like to hang out at, but what else would you expect from a guy holding a fish?

7:37 AM  
Blogger Mathilda said...

I just got my first LITERARY PUBLICATION!!!! YAY!!!!!!

I feel the need to do a happy dance...

Details forthcoming but for now EEEEEEEEEEEK!!!

It's no Glimmer Train or New Yorker, but still. I am so going to go eat chocolate!!!

7:11 PM  
Blogger Britta Coleman said...

Kern, where is this happy school, and do they offer credits for continuing education?

Travis, you would definitely like Grody Brody's, and they might even keep a picture like that hanging behind the manual cash register.

Mathilda, CONGRATS!!! Details, please.

8:49 AM  
Blogger dee said...

your two by two made me remember how much I miss reading your stuff...BTW the cover for my IRA book that I'm doing for Atlantic publishing is on Amazon...its an AWFUL cover...stock photo and bland I'm campaigning for one with a really cute piggy bank sitting on some greenbacks...we'll see who wins....

10:24 AM  

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